Category Archives: If You’re Going To Lead…Lead.

Any Moment You Choose: Shift From Old To BOLD!

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photo-1Damn these Dark Chocolate Almond Cherry Clusters. 

It’s 2:00am on Monday, June 10th. I’m in the kitchen eating a handful. OK, three handfuls.

Aha! You never know what might show up in your work or life as an opportunity waiting for you to claim it and own it – the catalyst for positive change – leading to your next success! (BRAVO YOU!)

Apparently these Clusters showed up as mine.

Two years ago, I committed to lose and be forever done with the *plus size* me. It was a body shape I needed to maintain during one of my most exciting adventures as a professional runway model and national fit model, a decade-plus career which became my inspiration for launching the first exclusive fit model agency in the country. What a ride!

Fascinating and frustrating is how I’d describe the fact that, when I decided to leave modeling to focus solely on building my agency business and BOLD, my body didn’t cooperate in leaving that size behind. My vision was lb’s falling off when no longer needed… um, no, it didn’t happen that way. As that great saying goes: there are no shortcuts to anything worth achieving!

It took a focused commitment: eating right (imagine that!) and 5am workouts. I posted my 5-day/week workouts on facebook and Twitter, set my goal, made my commitment and never looked back. I shed the size and feel strong and fabulous! One of my favorite headshots is my current website photo – in my yellow sweater – at my current size.

Thank You, Costco’s Dark Chocolate Almond Cherry Clusters (anyone else hearing Jimmy Fallon’s piano in that? ;) for being the catalyst I needed to take this next step in accomplishing the final leg of my goal. When I hit *Publish* on this blog post, I’m on my way to being back at my fighting weight/size at Christmas. (Join me?!)

My workouts are pretty much still in tact. I change-up/ease-up and get out of the gym to head outside in Summer. They’ve become who I am and how I roll, so I won’t be posting those. I’ll focus on clean eating instead.

The most exciting thing about change? Any moment you choose, you can change what’s no longer working. In your work and in your life.

Where to begin? Shift your thoughts, actions and outcomes… from Old To BOLD!

I’m jazzed to finish this Cluster and be done (amazing how this last one tastes like plastic). When I wake up tomorrow I am a girl with a plan. Back on top of my game. Walking My Talk. Owning It Like I Own It!

Do you have a change in your life you’re ready to pull the trigger on?

Get excited! Shift & GO BOLDly in any direction you choose! If you need a champion along the way – let me know so I can cheer you through!

Smiling that Yes, it really is true:

Your Next Success?  

It’s Up To YOU!

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© 1993-2017  Ann Ulrich   AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  A healthier choice: dark chocolate, cranberries, ginger and walnuts – a recipe David picked up on his recent tour of Hormel’s Spam plant – I know, seriously!

THANK YOU DEAR SUBSCRIBERS! There’s a special place in heaven for people who support and champion the work of others. Thanks so much for being here. And for commenting as you wish. Know someone who might enjoy these Jolts of BOLD Inspiration? Thank you for sharing it forward and inviting them in!

The Risk In Bringing Uncalibrated Passion

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IMG_1621To live the life you want… to commit to your dreams… takes Passion.

BRAVO those who bring Passion in a positive-impact way:

Lighting up new smile-inducing possibility! inspiring Passion in others! creating new success together! while passing it on…

As one who admits in her Bio: *I wear my Passion on my sleeve and when I have no sleeve I wear my Passion on my arm* ... 

In my speaking and writing, I’m sharing this lesson I’ve learned the hard way:

Your Passion Must Be Calibrated.

Uncalibrated Passion puts you and others at risk of experiencing and contagiously spreading a sudden and unexpected, potentially-devastating downward spiral, spelled:

S-U-F-F-O-C-A-T-I-O-N.

To lead and love life, don’t risk success and happiness by playing it safe. Don’t stop being Passionate – your Passion makes you come Alive!

Besides, watered-down Passion risks flatlining……..

To bring your Passion effectively: Calibrate accordingly.

So how can you keep Passion alive while Calibrating accordingly?

GO BOLDly! with your eyes, heart and mind – and your peripheral view – wide open.

Mindful of people and aware of situations… caring about what’s happening around you… seeing and feeling… helps keep you calibrating beautifully.

Bring your Passion. Light us up. Make things happen!

How will you bring your Passion?

It’s Up To YOU!

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© 1993-2017  Ann Ulrich  AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  Ah, The BOLD Exclamation Point! All those school years, I was marked down on papers for incessantly over-using it. Years later, when I launched my own business, l claimed it as my Logo, happily over-using it ever since, as my reminder and commitment to keep leading & living passionately *!*

Feeling Accomplished? Go Be A Rookie Again!

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photo-49Creating success?

Flying high?

Soaring at the top of your game?

BRAVO YOU!

We all deserve that fabulous feeling of *accomplished*!

And the more Accomplished we get, the more we need to go be a Rookie again. 

Being a Rookie keeps us Real.

It builds Empathy, Compassion, Awareness and Humility.

Ah, Humility. That’s a tricky one. Brings to mind Golda Meir’s brilliant quote: *Don’t be so humble, you’re not that great.*  (Ouch!)

Can’t figure out how to actually be a Rookie again?

Go Mentor One.

When it comes to creating ripples of new Success… 

It’s Up To YOU!

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© 1993-2013  Ann Ulrich  THE BOLD! FACTOR®   AnnUlrich.com

Photo: I came across this jewel of a scene on a walk near our cabin last Fall. Leafy green trees are certainly *accomplished*. After 20+ years of cabin life, to never have seen this long-standing tree stump of mossy mushrooms formed into gorgeous peachy pinky orange bouquets, opened my eyes. I guess you could say in that moment I became a Rookie at finding new beauty in the familiar.

Your Courageous Confidence

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IMG_1605On this gorgeous May morning, I’m thinking about a question I’ve been asked over the years:

“When it comes to being BOLD, what comes first: Courage or Confidence?”

A thought-provoking *chicken or egg*, isn’t it?

After researching, reflecting, and my favorite way to learn: experience and observation, I had concluded: It Depends. (Yes, the ULTIMATE NOT-SATISFYING RESPONSE TO ANYTHING!) Or, Both:

It takes Courage to be Confident.

It takes Confidence to be Courageous.

Which begs two questions: “How do I become Courageous in a situation if I’m not feeling Confident?” (and) “How do I become Confident if I’m not feeling Courageous?!”

Dr. Maya Angelou recently shed light on this in her wise and wonderful way. She says:

COURAGE is the most important of all virtues. Because without COURAGE you cannot practice the others consistently. 

So there it is.

And here is my 2-step BOLD interpretation for you:

Let your Courage (your ability to do something that frightens you) support, guide and champion your Confidence.

First: Let Courage be your WILLINGNESS to step in… the engine deep inside you that says not necessarily *I can* do this (that will come)… start with *I WILL* do this, fear and all. When you WILL do, feeling the fear and doing it anyway… that’s bravery, that’s Courage. This is where you start.

Next: Your Courage shows up and suddenly you’re ready for your Confidence to kick in… moving you into ACTION… even tiny-step action… to achieve whatever is right in front of you. Confidence is your *can do*, I DID IT! feeling. You’ll build new Confidence by taking Courageous, inspired action on whatever is stopping you.

When it comes to being BOLD… Confidence is the gift in being Courageous.

I hope you find comfort in this next time you have an unsurmountable situation of any size roadblocking you from achieving that next thing. Big or Small. Work or Life.

Trust COURAGE as your stepping stone to fire-up your CONFIDENCE… as you move forward, creating your next Success…

It’s Up To YOU!

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©1993-2013   Ann Ulrich     THE BOLD! FACTOR®     AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  I love colored glass. This vase makes us smile year-round. I move it to a spot where it catches the sun and dances little spots of sunlight across our living room. I’m smiling thinking about it. Note to self: Fill life with simple smile-inducing-ness!

PS. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. I hope writings here inspire you to take new action, to Do One BOLD Thing to create new success, as you Lead Live and Love your right-fit-for-you BOLD Exclamation Point *!* Life! Because even tho it may be dressed as Business or Work, it’s all Life.

The Grown-Up Truth No One Tells You About Success

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photo-11Think about your last Success – your everyday Success or a STELLAR Success.

And then what happened? It was up to YOU to keep creating your next Success, right? And then your next… and so on…

That’s tough to do! You need an endless surge and never-ending supply of fuel for that fire! Whew. No wonder you’re exhausted! 

And that’s exactly what keeps me passionate, fuels my fire, challenges me to keep walking my own talk, to keep creating BOLD: championing inspired people like you as you create your next Success.

Get Inspired. Get BOLD. Keep Going!

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HERE’S THE GROWN-UP TRUTH ABOUT SUCCESS (No One Really Talks About):

*No matter your stage of life – or your title at work – or your role at home… no matter how you define Success… to be Successful, to keep achieving Success you’ll need to keep re-igniting your own Success! Success requires (and rewards!) your focused energy, your calibrated passion, your can-do and will-do drive to keep taking inspired action… as you bring Self-Leadership with Ownership, claiming your Confidence with Calm and Class, Owning It like you own it. Get ready to fire up, fuel up, and keep re-igniting The BOLD! Factor In You. After all, when it comes to creating and sustaining your next Success: It’s Up To YOU!*  -Ann Ulrich, The BOLD! Factor®

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So, about that Success you just landed last week…

Or yesterday…

Or tomorrow morning…

If you’re like me you could find 100 reasons to celebrate every step along the way to and after that Success… BRAVO YOU! 

Reality is, when the celebration dies down, you’re going to need to figure out how to replicate that Success. Or duplicate that Success. Or create your next new Success. To continue to achieve Success. And to continue to be a Success…

…and so on and so on and so on…

After all, you’re only as Successful as your last Success topping your previous Success, right? (If you don’t agree, think about the last time you made budget. What happened next? Or the last deal you landed. Or class you taught or program you improved. Or life you positively impacted. You kept going, bigger, better, right? No wonder we’re all exhausted!)

When it comes to creating your next success, it doesn’t take a setback to get moving forward with new motivation, or to get moving in a fresh new direction. Or to see new possibilities in opportunities that already lie right in front of you, today.

To BOLDly Re-Imagine, Re-Ignite and Re-Invent sometimes is about simple Re-Calibration – which doesn’t always require crafting a whole new life – or dumping the essence of what matters to you, or who you matter to.

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Sometimes your own BOLD REV!VAL is as simple as putting a fresh perspective on a tired belief, opening fresh eyes to a blurred vision, bringing a fresh voice to a stale point of view. Or taking one courageous new action to move that mountain you’ve been trying to get around… and Smile! you have your next success.

Everyday Success Requires Your Everyday BOLD REV!VAL.™

Get Inspired. Get BOLD. Keep Going!

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If you don’t like or no longer believe in – or buy into – your own definition of Success… 

Why not start putting fresh wheels in new motion to change it?

It’s not easy but there is a way. It’s all about courageous Self-Leadership. Committed and willing to take inspired action, do one BOLD thing.

Own It Like You Own It.

Or Change It.

It’s Up To YOU!

((Trust Yourself. You can do this.))

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©1993-2013  Ann Ulrich     THE BOLD! FACTOR®     AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  I love this contemporary design on a tall white vase in our living room. Simple, clean white circles inspiring thoughts of BOLD REV!VAL. Oh, the (endless) possibilities!

Before You Diss Or Dismiss Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In

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IMG_1621Just so you know, I am a huge fan of Sheryl Sandberg.

Drawn in at first by her ground-breaking, high-impact TED talk, I wanted more! I was bummed when Amazon said her book would arrive a week later – what? – tho it arrived in 2 days. I devoured it the next evening and haven’t finished it just yet.

I’m purposely sharing thoughts without having finished her book. Why? While I strongly recommend that we DO read deeper than simply opining based on surface details or popular conversations… I don’t ever want to stop you, or curb your appetite (in fact I want to encourage you!) to practice sharing – start sharing – and keep sharing – your own BOLD point of view.

We learn so much from you and from each other. We need to keep hearing many voices, of various pitches and cadences, to keep growing by being open to experience many points of view. Not just the louder ones. And not just the more comfortable ones.

Regarding the hoopla, controversy and kudos surrounding Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In, I’ve immersed myself listening and learning from all sides. As owner of The BOLD! Factor and a positive force for self-leadership, confidence and re-igniting success… I’m passionate to discover and share my own BOLD POV in response to what’s being said.

Here’s what I’ve been hearing – and a few thinkabouts to share – as I’d like to challenge status quo thinking:

1) *She is out of touch. Sheryl Sandberg has no clue what my world is like.*

Ah, relatability. So, important isn’t it? In fact, Sheryl would probably relate it to her very real concern that likeability is holding us back.

So she has no clue what your world is like, right? It’s really not about that tho, is it?

She is not trying to present her point of view from an *I Am Everywoman, Everywhere* perspective. In fact, I love the way she continues to say that this is HER experience, not everyone’s, in a very welcoming, humble at times, keep-it-real way. I’ve grown to love this about her. She is not trying to pretend she knows YOUR life. She’s simply reflecting from her own place, what she sees happening in the world of work, and what she intends to do to help positively impact change she sees as needed, in women stepping up to take charge of their own success.

For those who feel she doesn’t know or relate to your life. Of course she doesn’t know your life. Again, she’s not trying to. Do you really know and can you relate to her life as COO of Facebook? I know I sure can’t. And I have no interest to.

2) *She’s successful and her life is what it is because she’s privileged.* 

Privileged?  She sure is!**

Smart? Talented? Gifted? Yes, Yes, and Yes!

Let’s be willing to keep surrounding ourselves with, and learning from, people who are different, smarter, quieter, louder, more global, more local… than us!

She’s letting us know she has a hard time accepting success kudos. She says she still struggles with her own success. And no, she didn’t give a thought to negotiating her own hiring offer Facebook first presented. It was her husband who insisted she does not say Yes to the first offer.

Oh sure, see, she IS privileged – she has a supportive husband! Yes she is and yes she does. And I know, that part about no plan to negotiate her offer surprised me, too!

She addresses what some see as adding/piling on to her Privilege: her powerful statement about choosing the right partner, making your partner your real partner, to go through life with. For me, this is among the most courageous statements she makes. At this stage of my life, looking back from here, I personally and enthusiastically applaud her in speaking that truth, out loud.

She’s NOT saying it’s easy, even in her privileged life. She IS saying it’s important.

**Let’s look at that word: Privileged. We are all, in our own special way, Privileged. When we hold that against someone else, maybe we simply aren’t willing to take a closer look to see what Privilege in our own life looks life.

I got up today. I’m not just living… I’m ALIVE. In this, I am PRIVILEGED. How about you. What does *Privilege* look like for you?

3) *She’s blaming ME for the problems of my company, my organization, my industry.*

Well, no, she’s not exactly blaming you as much as wanting to help with what she calls a need for women to Lean In and keep Leaning In.

I call it BOLD Self-Leadership: Owning It Like You Own It. These concepts are not too far apart, which may be why I love what she’s trying to do.

And let’s face it, problems inherent in work are not going to be solved overnight.

On the other hand… based on what I know to be true, get this:

When it comes to the Self-Leadership aspect of The BOLD! Factor and Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In… whatever YOU want to change in YOURSELF… you can most certainly change, sometimes overnight! I certainly have changed a few of my own *things* overnight and YOU CAN CHANGE YOURS TOO!

4) *Men are the reason Women are being held back from top positions, from leadership roles, from living the life we want, from being who and what we are capable of being…*

I’m calling BS on this.

I’m not turning this into a why-I-DON’T-blame-men rant, because I’ve decided I’m not joining that conversation. It’s OLD. I’d rather be BOLD. I sometimes think it’s more the women of my (boomer) generation that continue to fan these flames. Ugh. Enough already.

YES, there are plenty of men who are jerks and men who will not *let women in*. For sure. And you’re kidding yourself if you don’t believe there are also plenty of women who are jerks and who will not let women in. Boom. 

I get blasted when I say this, but I’m going to keep saying it: Guess What. Many Smart Women Do Not WANT (much less crave, which is the true BOLDometer for any real personal change) What Comes With That Corner Office.

Some Smart Women DO, and BRAVO YOU! because we need BOTH men and women at the top and every level in between. We’re all in this game of life together, and we certainly need each other to all be in this game of work, together.

BOLD! NUGGET: If you feel you are being held back by men (or women!) then dig deep, find the courage, and invite the conversation. Directly with that person.

You might learn a lot. You might come away even more disgusted, in which case, why are you still there?! And imagine this: you might come away having inspired someone else, opened their eyes, to a whole new way of seeing reality. How exciting is that?!

5) *Women are the ones who need to – and who will – fix this.* 

Not so fast.

When it comes to shifting and changing workplace realities, these issues and opportunities requires both men and women at the table, invited into and involved in, these important conversations. 

In summary re: Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In movement and launching her great concept of Leaning In Circles:

While I love the concept and believe in the possibilities of small groups of women gathering in conversation and encouragement, taking new, inspired action…

What I hope doesn’t happen is creating an even bigger divide, by sustaining women-only gatherings to solve workplace issues that desperately require BOTH men and women at the table, with all voices participating and heard. 

I applaud Sheryl Sandberg for shedding big light on this hugely important topic… and starting these controversial conversations.

The risk is already worth it!

What’s on your mind? Whether you’re passionate or new to this whole conversation… I hope you’ll let us know.

And by the way, thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you’re here!

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®1993-2013 Ann Ulrich    THE BOLD! FACTOR®     AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  There was never a doubt in my mind as to what my logo would be when I launched my own business. Having been forever marked-down by my teachers – in probably every grade – for overly-enthusiastic overuse of the !!! in my writing, reports, art… I colored one BOLD RED in 1993… and ever since use it to my heart’s content! (!!)

Need. Want. CRAVE.

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photo-50It didn’t strike me until the drive back home.

It took being turned down for a client project I was referred into which, as many direct referrals can be, this was indeed a perfect fit.

A potentially perfect fit. Or so it seemed.

At first glance anyway.

That day I observed, listened and learned much about two simple words:  

Need and Want.

The client I would be working with, as Trusted Advisor championing, advising and guiding her in quickly ramping up new success, was just promoted into a freshly-minted executive role. The project required focusing our work together in a few key areas:

Professionalism, self-leadership, executive presence and confidence.

Right up my alley.

At her executive salary, in her executive role, and in this successful fast-paced firm, the plan to have her contributing at a high level was imminent, clear and achievable. On many counts, she was simply a Rockstar.

There was one obvious thing missing:  her own motivation to change. 

That can be a project deal breaker for me. Altho I didn’t get the chance to decide that because she instead chose the route of continued perpetual assessment. (This would bring her to nearly one dozen with no new action taken – other than completing the next assessment!). With no action taken on the findings, as a result, nothing changed.

Which is why I was brought in… Next!

It can happen when someone else sees change you need, stands ready to invest in whatever it takes to achieve change you need… when what really matters is that YOU want to change for YOU, YOUR career, YOUR life… 

Not for change sake and not as change for others. That’s a tough road.

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IMG_1621Next time YOU want to achieve change in your work or life. REAL change. Ask yourself a few questions:

Do you NEED this change? this new impact, result, outcome? (and why?)

Do you WANT this change? this new impact, result, outcome? (and why?)

Or Do You CRAVE this change. (and why?!)

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Need It? and you’ll soon find the air has left your balloon… the motivation needed to change requires more than Need. (and if someone else has chosen this change as needed for you? Good luck with that.)

Want It? and now you’ve invested some firepower, motivation, or at least enough passion to shift beyond Need to Want…

CRAVE IT?! with the right plan and support system in place, you are setting yourself up for SUCCESS! REAL passion and REAL motivation and REAL ownership and REAL commitment.

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Think about it the next time you wonder why the workouts didn’t last, the project didn’t get finished, the popular book never got read, or the passion in general fizzled or derailed. I’m thinking about this, too!

As a result of that almost-new-client experience, I better understand now why I drift from certain goals and yet I spot-on nail a few others!

photo-19Maybe you needed it or thought you wanted it… because if you truly CRAVED the outcome or result… you’d still be on your way or looking back, smiling at moving forward on – and achieving – any goal you actually CRAVED. 

Let your head take you to whatever goal is next… but it’s your PASSION that will light your fire and keep it flaming bright… through every obstacle, distraction, and excuse that threatens to derail you.

And YES there will be obstacles, distractions and excuses to derail you!

Next time you’re addressing a potential change… Try this:

!  Ask yourself:  Is THIS change is worth your BEST BOLD EFFORT. What’s motivating you? Why?

!  Next:  Run a quick Need. Want. CRAVE. test on your personal BOLDometer to scale up and validate your Why.

!  And then: Run with it or Walk away! and either way…

KEEP GOING.

That’s Confidence. That’s Self-Leadership. That’s Success!

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© 1993-2013 Ann Ulrich   THE BOLD! FACTOR®     AnnUlrich.com

Photos:  We light this tray of candles, lots of candles actually, as our moveable fireplace in our condo. Fireworks are a favorite annual event – shot over the 3rd Avenue downtown Mpls bridge – right in front of our deck.

What If You Really Are Amazing…

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… just the way you are.

Aaaaand what about when you’re NOT?

photo-27David and I just spent a few days *Up North in God’s Country* Ely MN, where his company has a brilliant team, great community and beautiful office.

I went along for the fresh perspective a change of scenery brings in researching, thinking about, and writing my book.

(With morning temperatures of -25 and -35 degrees… Whoa! That air was pure Caffeine!)

I knew we would have a great time. What I didn’t expect in working on my book was this:

1.  I called BS on myself where I was NOT amazing.

2.  I tossed massive content where my voice has changed and am no longer about *that*.

3.  I thought about YOU – and all the Noise – and all the Should’s – and all the NOT GOOD ENOUGH’s – all the DODODO BEBEBE MOREMOREMORE – and those times when we own our greatness (BRAVO!) and yet what about those times we may need a fresh jolt, a wake-up call… yes, self-included. (see #1 above)

I came away from all that with this thought for you:

WHAT IF YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING… JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

WHAT IF YOU CLAIMED IT AS YOURS.

AND OWNED IT.

AND WHAT IF YOU ALSO CLAIMED & OWNED THE TIMES YOU ARE WELL, LESS THAN AMAZING…

This is where the gut-check reality comes in. BEING AMAZING INCLUDES TIMES WE ARE NOT ALL THAT AMAZING…

THOSE are the times that present the opportunities head-on: to grow, change, disrupt, re-invent… to be what you know you crave.

Reality check: Nothing shifts or changes or happens with any inspired thought until you apply courageous action.

So go ahead. Jolt your BOLD.  Bring your Amazing … to one situation, conversation, opportunity, presentation, challenge, relationship, work or life. Today: 

IMG_1621Believe It. 

Own It.

Lead & Live It. 

Deny Substitutions!

OK, it’s Monday. Just not feeling it?

Relax… there’s someone in your life who’d cherish your word of encouragement, your nod of *keep going!* or simply your smile.

Find one way to champion THEIR Amazing today. 

See what happens.

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© 1993-2013 Ann Ulrich, THE BOLD! FACTOR®  AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  Apparently lots of hot chocolate with marshmellow drinkers at the Ely Lodge!

Contagious Excellence

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IMG_1607

Spreading it breeds a positive impact like no other!

When excellence becomes contagious, we can disrupt mediocrity…

obliterate status quo…

become the spark that changes everything!

What does Contagious Excellence mean for YOU?

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©1993-2013 Ann Ulrich, THE BOLD! FACTOR®   AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  My favorite shots to capture are simple parts of something bigger. These 3 are in a larger painting of 5… these 3 just looked *contagious* to me.

Everyday Extraordinary

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photoSTOP.  Just long enough to take in these 10 phrases extraordinary people say every day… as shared in this Inc.com article written by Inc. contributing author Jeff Haden.

BEAUTIFUL. POWERFUL. WE CAN ALL BE THE ONE TO POSITIVELY IMPACT OTHERS IN THIS SIMPLE YET PROFOUND WAY…. EVERYDAY! 

GO.  BE EXTRAORDINARY!  

PS: Thank you for being here. WordPress sent a virtual trophy this week to celebrate my One Year Anniversary blogging with them (in my 20th year owning my business). <SMILE> Time flies… so don’t sleepwalk one minute through your precious life! (Naps are NOT sleepwalking) I appreciate you and love championing you to Lead YOUR Bigger, Bolder Life!  Ann

______Here’s Jeff’s article: _________

Want to make a huge difference in someone’s life? Here are things you should say every day to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about:

“Here’s what I’m thinking.”

You’re in charge, but that doesn’t mean you’re smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority.

Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.

Authority can make you “right,” but collaboration makes everyone right–and makes everyone pull together.

“I was wrong.”

I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.

In practice, it wasn’t.

So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, “I know you didn’t think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let’s move you back to your original shift.”

I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I’d lost any respect they had for me.

It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, “I didn’t really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know.”

When you’re wrong, say you’re wrong. You won’t lose respect–you’ll gain it.

“That was awesome.”

No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone–pick anyone–who does or did something well and say, “Wow, that was great how you…”

And feel free to go back in time. Saying “Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue last month…” can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month, and you still think about it.)

Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it–and you’ll like yourself a little better, too.

“You’re welcome.”

Think about a time you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right?

The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don’t spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, “Thank you.” Or make eye contact and say, “You’re welcome. I was glad to do it.”

Don’t let thanks, congratulations, or praise be all about you. Make it about the other person, too.

“Can you help me?”

When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, “Can you help me?”

I promise you’ll get help. And in the process you’ll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen–which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader.

And are all qualities of a great friend.

“I’m sorry.”

We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support…

Say you’re sorry.

But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like “But I was really mad, because…” or “But I did think you were…” or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.

Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more.

Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts.

“Can you show me?”

Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything.

When you ask to be taught or shown, several things happen: You implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice.

Don’t just ask for input. Ask to be taught or trained or shown.

Then you both win.

“Let me give you a hand.”

Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help.

But everyone needs help.

Don’t just say, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Most people will give you a version of the reflexive “No, I’m just looking” reply to sales clerks and say, “No, I’m all right.”

Be specific. Find something you can help with. Say “I’ve got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?” Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your employees to display.

Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.

“I love you.”

No, not at work, but everywhere you mean it–and every time you feel it.

Nothing.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you’re upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does.

That’s especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he eventually got over it, but inside, he never will.

Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections.

You’ll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee’s self-esteem.

Be quiet until you know exactly what to say–and exactly what affect your words will have.

– Article written by Jeff Haden, posted on Inc.com 1/9/13. I pizzazz’d it up a bit with my BOLD red and italics – then visited Jeff’s Blackbirdinc.com and smiled to see same colors!

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©1993-2013 Ann Ulrich, THE BOLD! FACTOR®  AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  LOVE my bracelet purchase at Zonta Int’l event. Handmade by women of Breaking Free, a global org investing profits from jewelry sales to fund women’s business dreams.